Sunday, June 19, 2011

Someone Else

My impulsive rushes

found two different touches,

and doused in guilt

I'm stripped clothes-less

and soulless

Have you been hurt?

I can't find it in your face,

but I can hear it in your words;

take it out on me.

I'll be your little fuck toy,

if you'll be my next mistake

If I could talk circles around you,

why am I spinning?

Back and forth,

slower, faster

Each breath lights our contrast

like Ecstasy's onset,

so push in farther

and pin me down harder against the mattress

Nails sparking electric torture

across soaking wet skin--

fucking in sin

Carnal breathing, harsh and hungry;

lose control and make me whole.

I'm so filled with the feeling

of wanting to feel something..

So, choke me

and rape me better than he did

when he broke me

into pieces

like glass.

You could never push me too far, just

closer to

closer to

something I've never been before.

We've closed ourselves off,

uncertain and scared--

But you got off on my pain,

now let's do it again.


I don't feel guilty anymore.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Trap

"Baby, what's wrong?"
asked the softest eyes I've ever seen,
glazed across with blurring worry,
in their blueish, brightest green

But you always refuse to believe
that there's anything wrong inside of me--
For some wrong reason,
you believe in me.

Hot breath and hotter skin,
whispers in the push and pull
While arching backs let heavy breathing
escape our lips, while moving slow

Convulsions in nerves
I never knew I had,
'til my fingers and palms
had tingled numb--

Now I close my eyes
and remember how
we put the world in slow motion
for a little while

And I'm so afraid, and I don't know why,
but I'm still here, aren't I?

We're done now, but I wrote this for you when it still mattered. If it ever mattered.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


If emotion was an ocean,

then the sea's throat would swell

and swallow me whole,

to drown in this emptiness

with words I couldn't chew--

as I envision you.


My first real love: Part of me will always love you, but I'll always hate you more.