Monday, July 4, 2016

To Teach

Learning how to teach, hence
forgetting how to be

I say goodbye to each word that I've cried out,
bled out,
and birthed from my own two hips

Every picture I've dreamed in,
danced through,
and woven into some type of vague magic--

Heart and soul into picture and poem.

When will I find this so-called integrity?

Good bye, expression;
Farewell, sweet identity!

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I was going to be a teacher. After five years of school, spending the last of those learning exactly what it meant to be a teacher, and, more importantly, the sacrifices involved, I got out of there as fast as I could. One year later and I’m still trying to find all of the pieces of myself that I lost along the way. The internet had to be scrubbed clean of me, everything deleted and password protected. As a result, the anxiety which surrounds expressing myself as a real person again, one who is not censured, not opinion-less, not sex-less, is still strong. Once I was all of these things, and then I was none. So here’s to finding out what I am now.

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